Crush Liberalism

Liberalism: Why think when you can “feel”?

Non-political (and just plain surreal) post of the day

Via Hot Air:

Somewhere Christopher Hitchens pours himself another scotch and chortles sinisterly. Taste the cold steel of Sister Domenica’s blade:

TWO PEOPLE were injured and another two were arrested after scuffles broke out between two rival factions of nuns residing in an Old Calendarist convent in Avdellero late last night.

Nuns and priests from both sides confronted each other after unrest broke out at around 10pm.

The church was covered with blood as nuns and priests from both sides attacked each other using sharp objects…

It has been reported that the convent is segregated, with Archimandrite Sevastianos’ followers occupying certain buildings and the resident nuns staying in others. At nightfall, Sevastianos and his nuns barricade themselves inside the chapel, as a precaution, with friends and relatives of the two groups taking turns at patrolling the premises.

Fortunately, one of our voyeurs “investigative journalists” (we’ll call him “Louie”) from the Crush Liberalism Objective World News Service (aka CLOWNS) was on vacation in Cyprus and claimed to have transcribed the following conversation:

Sister Mary-Katherine: Yo, yo, yo…this is our turf, Sevastianos Crips!

Sister Ruth Hosanna: Don’t think so, bee-yotch! Get to steppin’, or my peeps will get medieval on your…

Sister Delilah: That’s it, Ruthdawg! I’m poppin’ a cap in your…uh…well, we don’t have guns here, so I’ll use this letter opener instead. ‘You down with G-O-D? Yeah, you know me!’

Sister Sheneequa: Oh no, you dih-unt! It’s on, Mutha Penguin!

Sister Delilah: Who you callin’ a ‘penguin’, you nappy headed…

At this point, the violence and bloodshed began, so Louie bolted for his safety. And of course, I believe Louie’s version of events, especially since he said the transcribed document was cleared by Dan Rather…so you just know it’s authentic!

All over the world, CLOWNS getting the news to you… 🙂

June 21, 2007 - Posted by | bizarre, CLOWNS, humor, non-political

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