Crush Liberalism

Liberalism: Why think when you can “feel”?

Obama to tax Christmas trees in order to promote Christmas trees

Satire?  Uh…no.  It’s for real.

President Obama’s Agriculture Department today announced that it will impose a new 15-cent charge on all fresh Christmas trees—the Christmas Tree Tax—to support a new Federal program to improve the image and marketing of Christmas trees.

Right.  Because Christmas is so underappreciated and undercommercialized!

H3ll, I’ve been hearing Christmas music and seeing Christmas trees since November 1.  What, is the Obamanation wanting to ensure that I start hearing Silver Bells and seeing wreaths in July so that Christmas is duly promoted?

Exit question:  Did Congress cede the power of taxation to the Ag Department and I just didn’t get the memo?

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November 9, 2011 Posted by | big government, bizarre, Obama, shameful | 4 Comments

Senate FINALLY working on important legislation: tackling fake maple syrup

The Senate hasn’t proposed a budget in 900+ days.  How can they, when they’ve got far more pressing issues to address?

Six senators introduced legislation that would make selling fake maple syrup a felony offense leading to fines and up to five years in prison.

The Maple Agriculture Protection and Law Enforcement (MAPLE) Act is a response to what chief sponsor Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) and others say is the increasing practice of cheating Vermont, Upstate New York and other maple syrup regions by selling inferior, fake syrup.

“I have been alarmed by the growing number of individuals and businesses claiming to sell genuine Vermont maple syrup when they are in fact selling an inferior product that is not maple syrup at all,” Leahy said Thursday. “This is fraud, plain and simple, and it undermines a key part of Vermont’s economy and reputation for quality that has been hard-earned through Vermonters’ hard work.”

He added that others in the syrup-producing regions of Maine, New York and other states also have been hurt. Sens. Susan Collins (R-Maine), Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) are all co-sponsors.

Under current law, selling fake maple syrup is a misdemeanor offense.

Under the bill, S. 1742, selling fake maple syrup would be listed as an act of fraud that is seen as a felony offense, along with falsifying bank entries, mortgage transactions, loan applications and citizenship records, along with dozens of other activities.

“We need to make sure that those who intentionally deceive consumers get a trip to jail, not a slap on the wrist,” Leahy said. “Schemers should not easily be able to sully the seal of quality that is associated with genuine Vermont maple syrup.”

The bill specifically lists what qualifies as real maple syrup: a liquid food derived from heating tree sap or mixing water and maple sugar. In either case, not less than 66 percent of the weight of the product must be “soluble solids derived solely from the sap of a species of tree in the genus Acer.”

Of course, leave it to the Maine sisters to join this lunacy.

October 24, 2011 Posted by | big government, bizarre, shameful, Vermont | 7 Comments

NASA sounds alarm: Aliens might attack us if we don’t stop global warming!

OK, I get it!  NASA is so bent on getting the Space Shuttle back that they’re now resorting to uber-absurd studies like this.  You know, “Give us the shuttle back, or we’ll p#ss away more taxpayer dollars on subsequent studies like this!”  For the love of Pete, Mr. President and Congress, PLEASE give them their funding back!

It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.

Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth’s atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.

This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by a Nasa-affiliated scientist and colleagues at Pennsylvania State University that, while considered unlikely, they say could play out were humans and alien life to make contact at some point in the future.

Shawn Domagal-Goldman of Nasa’s Planetary Science Division and his colleagues compiled a list of plausible (“plausible”? Seriously? – CL) outcomes that could unfold in the aftermath of a close encounter, to help humanity “prepare for actual contact”.

So that’s what prompted Falling Skies!  The aliens have been watching us since the dinosaur days, and while Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Chernobyl, and Three Mile Island weren’t enough to prompt an invasion, the planet’s temperature inching up a nanodegree would be way more than they could take!  But hey, if there’s a silver lining here, it would be that NYT’s econorube Paul Krugman would have his dream of “alien invasion + Keynesian economics = cured economy” come true.

Maybe NASA should just stick to what they do best: Muslim outreach.

August 19, 2011 Posted by | bizarre, environuts, global warming, shameful | 3 Comments

Dems unveil electoral strategy: invoke Bush

Yeah, that tactic went over like a fart in church in VA, NJ, and MA, didn’t it?  The party of “change” apparently isn’t going to change at all when it comes to their message this year.

Heck, I was one of the people who couldn’t wait for Bush to get out.  But now?  Well, to answer the question on the billboards, “Yes, I do miss him!”  Bush looks like Reagan to Obama’s Carter right about now.

Money quote:

Van Hollen waved off comparisons to the 1994 midterm elections, when insurgent Republicans channeled popular dissatisfaction with Democratic control to knock off 54 Democrats and win back the House. But Van Hollen argued that in 1994 — unlike now — the GOP presented itself as a viable alternative; Democrats were caught flat-footed; and President Bill Clinton’s support was sagging.

Yeah, because BO’s robust 44% approval rating is just the medicine that the government-approved doctor prescribed for the Dems, right?

April 6, 2010 Posted by | bizarre, Obama | 2 Comments

Dems: To blame Bush, or not to blame Bush?

Some Dems: Hey, this “blaming Bush” thingy isn’t working too well these days, is it?

Carville and other Dems:  You know what I’d do right about now to reverse our current decline?  I’d do something really clever, unique, and totally unforeseen.  Something like, oh I dunno, and I’m just kinda spitballin’ here…maybe blaming Bush or something?

Pass the popcorn!  😆

January 25, 2010 Posted by | bizarre | 6 Comments

Bizarre story of the day, “French gay soccer team” edition

Isn’t “French” and “gay” redundant?  I mean, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”  😆  Excerpt:

A French gay soccer team says its members were victims of homophobia when a team of Muslim players refused to play a match against them.

The Paris Foot Gay team says Tuesday it received an e-mail from the Creteil Bebel club canceling a match scheduled for last Sunday.

“Because of the principles of our team, which is a team of devout Muslims, we can’t play against you,” the e-mail said, according to Paris Foot Gay. The e-mail received Saturday said, “Our convictions are much more important than a simple football match.”

Exit question #1: Is there a designated “straight” soccer team?

Exit question #2: Since when was sexual preference a descriptor of a soccer team?

October 6, 2009 Posted by | bizarre, France, gay, religion of peace | 8 Comments

Obama: “Stimulus” wasn’t really supposed to “stimulate” the economy!

Dude…talk about polishing a turd!  This is spin like I’ve never seen it.  From ABC News:

Turns out the $787 billion “American Recovery and Reinvestment Act” (AARA) was not designed for full economic recovery, but rather to “stabilize” the downturn.  That’s the word from White House officials today, who held off-camera briefings with reporters on how the AARA is working so far.

“This legislation was designed to cushion the downturn,” said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. “That’s why we have always talked about this as one function of economic recovery.”

When pressed about the change in terminology, Gibbs said he was not trying to temper expectations after the fact. “I can probably find 15 or 20 occasions when I said this in the lead up,” Gibbs said, explaining that he had always defined the AARA as part of a “multi-legged stool.”

So Gibbs never used the term “stimulus” in the “lead up” to today’s press briefings?  If, by “never used”, you mean “yesterday and the day before“, then yeah…”never”!

Remember when Oprompter sold us this bill of goods in January?

That is why I have moved quickly to work with my economic team and leaders of both parties on an American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan that will immediately jumpstart job creation (near 10% unemployment…nice job – Ed.) and long-term growth…

Why, if I didn’t know any better, I would swear that he thinks the “stimulus” has failed and he needs to sandbag expectations by revising history.  As Slublog asks on his Twitter page: “If the stimulus wasn’t meant to stimulate economic recovery, why is the website called recovery.gov?”

July 16, 2009 Posted by | bizarre, economic ignorance, hypocrisy, Obama | 1 Comment

Is this a crazy world or what?

Europe seems to be eschewing big government liberalism and moving to the right, while a country that was once the bastion of freedom and liberty (for those of you on the left, that would be America) is following its smooth-talking Shyster-in-Chief down the failed path of leftist governing.

Californiastan, meanwhile, has seen its leftist utopia wither away over the last decade or so.  The state is about to go bankrupt, after having run off individuals and businesses that succeed by way of punishing tax rates, all while inviting welfare leeches and criminal aliens.  However, RINO Gov. Arnie is thinking that maybe a flat tax is the way to go, instead of a “soak the rich” tax that has hastened the exodus of achievers to more tax friendly states like neighboring Nevada.  Heck, CA is even considering canning its welfare program!  But while CA is thinking about not pounding the rich so hard anymore, B.O. is thinking that the same thing (punishing achievers to subsidize non-achievers) that has driven Californiastan to the brink of insolvency is a darned fine idea for the country.

To add to the craziness, we now live in a society that has a media that is no better or different than Pravda during the Soviet days, Castro’s Granma, or publications that you would expect to find in Chavez’, Ahmanutjob’s, or Mugabe’s countries.  They are propaganda mouthpieces for the administration, telling us that black is white and night is day.  Case in point: the MSM keeps spinning further job losses as “sure, jobs were lost, but not as many as we thought…so that’s good, right”?  There’s a problem with that, though: the job losses are worse than B.O. expected!

Did you ever think you would see the day where American media would fail to take their role seriously in policing government?  Journalists are now comparing the Obamessiah to God (but there’s no “Obama as Messiah” thing going on, is there, Andrew?)!  Instead of scrutinizing his Marxist agenda, his ties to domestic terrorists, his frequent apologies to the world for the crappy country he governs, or anything like that, the MSM delves instead to more pressing matters in B.O.’s “impossibly elegant” life:  his date night with his wife.  By the way, such an “objective” piece of news and not opinion was found in the National News section of the fishwrap.  The MSM also tells us that while Uhhh-bama has flip-flopped considerably (some might say “lie”, but why quibble over semantics?), his “flip-flops are for the common good“!  Then, of course, there’s MSNBC’s Brian Williams bowing before The One.

I mean, media bias has always been around, but we’ve gone way over the cliff and into the abyss here!  If Jon Stewart is making fun of you for kissing Oprompter’s behind too much, and if a leftist magazine like Vanity Fair admits to the pervasive media bias, then it’s safe to say that you’ve jumped the shark.

With apologies to John Lennon: Strange days, indeed.

June 8, 2009 Posted by | big government, bizarre, California, economic ignorance, Euros, media bias | 6 Comments

Specter: You know, the Republican Party’s policy stances may have killed Jack Kemp!

If there’s any silver lining in Specter’s defection, it’s that he goes from being the GOP’s nutjob to being the Dems’ nutjob.  Not that the left has any reservations about that.  Anywho, details:

Sen. Arlen Specter, Pennsylvania Democrat, said part of the reason that he left the Republican Party last week was disillusionment with its health-care priorities, and suggested that had the Republicans taken a more moderate track, Jack Kemp may have won his battle with cancer.

Sounds an awful lot like Silky Pony during the 2004 campaign re: Christopher Reeve, no?

If only the GOP had listened to “moderates” such as Specter, then Snarlin’ Arlen could have worked his magic on Jack and rid him completely of cancer.  Exit question: Wouldn’t such a miracle have created competition with the Obamessiah, whose mere words have been known to “enchant” journalists?

May 4, 2009 Posted by | Arlen Specter, bizarre, shameful | 2 Comments

Another “Whitey” conspiracy revealed: a technological device is “racist”

Oh. My. Stars.  From Connectikook:

A lawyer representing a man charged with drunken driving has claimed Connecticut’s breathalyzers discriminate against blacks.

Attorney James Ruane represents 40-year-old Tyrone Brown, of Norwalk, who was arrested April 9 by Connecticut State Police on Interstate 95 in Fairfield.

In a motion filed Tuesday in Bridgeport Superior Court, Ruane asked a judge to suppress his client’s breathalyzer test results.

He contends the device used by state police and most local police departments, the Intoxilyzer 5000, discriminates against blacks.

Ruane said research shows the lung capacity of a black man is 3 percent lower than a white man’s and, therefore, black men’s test results vary from the sobriety standard set by the device.

Assistant State’s Attorney Mark Durso declined comment. 

Lower lung capacity?  Has dude never seen a black man run with the football, flee from the po-po, or shatter Olympic sprint records?

Seriously, I may have officially just seen it all.  A machine that measures drunkenness is racist?  Not the engineers or the designers of the machine, but the machine itself is racist?

Exit question:  Can we infer that the ambulance chaser making this claim is racist by implying that blacks get drunk (then get behind the wheel) more often than non-blacks?

November 21, 2008 Posted by | ambulance chasers, bigotry, bizarre | 3 Comments

Obama cultists push to create new federal holiday for The One?

This is a joke…right?  Right???

Planning under way for Obama holiday

Plans are being made to promote a national holiday for Barack Obama, who will become the nation’s 44th president when he takes the oath of office Jan. 20.

“Yes We Can” planning rallies will be at 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. every Tuesday at the downtown McDonald’s restaurant, 1100 Kansas Ave., until Jan. 13. The goals are to secure a national holiday in Obama’s honor, to organize celebrations around his inauguration and to celebrate the 200th birthday of President Abraham Lincoln, who was born on Feb. 12 1809.

Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence.  James Madison is considered the Father of the Constitution.  FDR and Truman got us through WW II.  Reagan destroyed the Soviet Union.  None of these guys have their own unique holiday, because they (and every other president) are observed on Presidents Day.  Yet a socialist empty suit who employs flowery rhetoric and has yet to be sworn in is already being pushed by his Kool-Aid drinkers for His own unique holiday?

Seriously, this must be a joke.  Satire.  A hoax.  Something like that…right?

November 10, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, moonbats, Obama, shameful | 9 Comments

Quote of the day, “Obama’s sexuality” edition

Quoth The One from the debate last night:

Sexuality Is Sacred

Alrighty, then.  I suppose that would make San Fransicko the most sacred city in the US, no?

October 16, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, Obama, quote of the day | 2 Comments

Obama cultists?

You tell me.  This is an actual photo of an Obamessiah campaign headquarters, and if I had to guess, I would say it bears a striking resemblance to the banner hanging on jen’s bedroom wall in her undersized-yet-overpriced eco-shanty:

Bears a striking resemblance to “1984”, no?

September 16, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, Obama | 14 Comments

Quote of the day, “Bizarre Biden metaphor” edition

Oooooooo-kay then.  From Greasy Joe:

When telling the story of how his granddaughters had a slumber party with Barack Obama’s daughters during the week of the Democratic National Convention, Biden equated it to what he says Americans want.

“I believe that’s a metaphor, a metaphor for what the country is looking for. They’re looking for a sleepover with people they like!”

Just keep Bill Clinton and Scott Ritter away from that sleepover, and everything should be hunky-dory.

September 15, 2008 Posted by | Biden, bizarre, quote of the day | 2 Comments

Obama wins coveted “washed-up British gay heroin addict musician” endorsement

Dude…this is so disturbing.  Boy George has put out a pro-Obama music video.  Does this @$$clown really think he’s helping The One?

My favorite of the comments there:

Wow … to quote Eric Cartman:

“One time, I saw two guys kissing in a park … and I thought THAT was the gayest thing I’ve ever seen, but now this.”

Reason #4,253,345 to not vote for Obama.

September 11, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, gay, Obama | Leave a comment

CA prisoners will now have protected sodomy

Californiastan is at it again.  Observe:

A controversial new pilot program providing free condoms for California prison inmates is in its final planning stages.

The Solano State Prison is installing 10 condom distribution machines that will be stocked with 1,200 condoms a week, reported Sacramento, Calif., TV station KCRA.

The hope is that the condoms will limit the spread of sexually transmitted diseases among inmates.

“We know risk behavior is being reduced,” said Mary Sylla of the Center for Health Justice. “We will eventually be reducing HIV infections by this measure.”

A nonprofit group is supplying the prison with the machines and condoms, which comes out to costing a total of $60,000.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has twice vetoed legislation that would have set up a statewide condom distribution, but last fall the governor ordered the Department of Corrections to conduct a one-year trial.

A union representing prison guard supervisors is opposed to the distribution of condoms.

The union said that condoms can be used as places to hide drugs or weapons.

“They can put stuff in them and use them to throw at staff or other inmates,” said Chris Gold of the Prison Supervisor’s Union.

It is also technically against the law for inmates to have sex, and the state said that wouldn’t change.

“Sexual activity in prisons is still illegal,” said Terry Thornton of the California Corrections Department. “Inmates will be notified of that as well where the machines are located.”

Smaller test programs have already been in place at county jails in Los Angeles and San Francisco, and supporters said so far there has never been a report of a condom being used as a weapon.

After the one-year trial run is complete, state officials will produce a report about whether the program was a success or not.

“Yo, warden!  My b#tch in cell 5 gave me Hep B, and it’s yo’ damn fault!  If I had me some Trojans, den I wudn’t have had to worry about whether my raping dat dude woulda infected me!  I’m gettin’ da ACLU on dis one, man!”

Wow…just “wow”!

August 1, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, California | Leave a comment

Bizarre news item of the day

The opening paragraph of this story should get anyone’s attention:

A loud argument between two deaf women led to one of them being arrested Friday for assaulting a cop, police said.

Uh…OK.

July 16, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, non-political | 4 Comments

Ambulance chaser sues newspaper for budget and staff cutbacks

From Raleigh, NC:

A News & Observer subscriber is suing the newspaper for cutting staff and the size of the paper.

Keith Hempstead, a Durham lawyer, filed the suit last month in Wake Superior Court. He says he renewed his subscription in May just before the paper announced on June 16 the layoffs of 70 staff members and cuts in news pages.

“I hate to see what companies that run newspapers are doing to the product,” Hempstead said. “The idea that taking the most important product and reducing the amount of news and getting rid of staff to me seems pointless to how you should run a newspaper business.”

And what, pray tell, does this moron know about running a business?  Little did I know that it was a violation of one’s civil rights for a business to trim its expenses in order to stay afloat.  I learn something new every day.

The editor of the paper has a funny retort:

John Drescher, executive editor of The News & Observer, said he’s glad that Hempstead is a loyal reader and that the N&O has meant so much to him.

“We’ve had some really good papers recently, and they’re worth more than the 36 cents a day that Mr. Hempstead is paying us,” Drescher said.

“In fact, he owes me money,” Drescher continued. “So when he gets a lawyer, he can work with my lawyer and figure out how much he’s going to pay me for the excellent coverage he’s been getting recently.” 

Heh.

July 11, 2008 Posted by | ambulance chasers, bizarre | Leave a comment

Man sues church for putting the Spirit in him

Maybe he can join that Obama blogger and sue God while he’s at it.  From Knoxville:

KNOXVILLE — A man says he was so consumed by the spirit of God that he fell and hit his head while at a Knoxville church.

Now he wants Lakewind Church to pay $2.5 million for medical bills, lost income, and pain and suffering he says he’s endured from his injuries.

Matt Lincoln, who is 57, says he decided to sue the church after its insurance company denied his claim for medical bills.

Lincoln has had two surgeries since the June 2007 incident but says he still feels pain in his back and his legs.

The Sevier County man says he was asking God to have “a real experience” while praying at church.

He says he has fallen from the force of the spirit before but has always been caught by someone.

Lawyers for the church say other congregants saw him on the floor laughing after his fall. They say he failed to look out for his own safety.

Apparently, he was so “spirit-filled” that he completely bypassed that section in the Bible on greed.

July 11, 2008 Posted by | ambulance chasers, bizarre, shameful | 7 Comments

Queer sues Bible publisher for accurately publishing Scripture

While I’m on my “gay-bashing” (to use a leftist term) kick today, how about this ludicrous story from Mount Virus?

The warped, whiny, politically correct victim culture has reached a new milestone of insanity:

A homosexual man who has a blog on Sen. Barack Obama’s campaign website is suing two major Christian publishers for violating his constitutional rights (which “rights”? – Ed.) and causing emotional pain, because the Bible versions they publish refer to homosexuality as a sin.

Bradley LaShawn Fowler, 39, of Canton, Mich., is seeking $60 million from Zondervan and another $10 million from Thomas Nelson Publishing in lawsuits filed in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan, the Grand Rapids Press reported.

I’m sure if he goes judge-shopping long enough, Mr. Fowler the Barack Obama blogger may even find one who agrees with him that scholarly translations of sacred texts should be obliterated if they cause offense. News flash: The Holy Scriptures and the Christ they tell us about are an offense and a stumbling block to people everywhere determined to live their own way – including Mr. Fowler’s hubris to think that he has unveiled a biblical interpretation that has eluded scholars for centuries. …

The dude blogs on the Obamessiah’s campaign website.  Wait, lemme guess: “This isn’t the hypersensitive atheist nutbar queer I knew!”

Exit question: according to this flit boy’s logic, shouldn’t God be a defendant?  Yeah, good luck with that.

July 11, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, gay, moonbats, Obama, political correctness | 6 Comments

UPDATED: Scientific term is considered racist

UPDATES AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST.

I shiite you not.  From Dallas:

A special meeting about Dallas County traffic tickets turned tense and bizarre this afternoon.

County commissioners were discussing problems with the central collections office that is used to process traffic ticket payments and handle other paperwork normally done by the JP Courts.

Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections “has become a black hole” because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.

Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud “Excuse me!” He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a “white hole.”

That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy.

Mayfield shot back that it was a figure of speech and a science term.

Unfrigginbelievable.

UPDATE (07/10/2008 – 01:47 PM EST): Not only is this Price buffoon not backing off his statement about how racist the term “black hole” is, he’s pushing the idiocy envelope even further: “angel’s food cake” and “devil’s food cake” are racist, too!  Pure comedy gold!

July 10, 2008 Posted by | bigotry, bizarre, moonbats, Texas | 13 Comments

Someone ask Obama WTF he’s talking about

Uh…wow.  From Gateway Pundit:

Here’s the latest nutty Obama interview of the day…
Barack Obama talks about private security contractors (code for “The evil Blackwater mercenaries”):

Even his facial expressions are telling in this interview– He doesn’t have the slightest clue on what he’s talking about… It is amazing.
Here are a couple of notable lines:

–Private security contractors put our troops in harm’s way(?)
–If you start building a military premised on the use of private contractors and you start making decisions on armed engagement based on the availability of private contractors to fill holes and gaps that over time you are, I believe, eroding the core of our military’s relationship to the nation(?)
–I think you are privatizing something that is what essentially sets a nation-state apart, which is a monopoly on violence(?)

Huh?

Hope…and change…and stuff.

July 10, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, Obama | 3 Comments

Grave robbery due to…bad economy?

So due to the non-recession, people are resorting to…grave robbery?  In a newsroom in St. Louis, someone needs to lay off the “sensationalism” bong.

July 1, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, media bias | 4 Comments

Maybe Democrats really ARE Satanic!

From Confederate Yankee:

Too bad they worship someone other than the Obamamessiah:

Prosecutors said Craig’s victims met him through a shared interest in Satan worship. They alleged Craig shackled his victims to beds, kept them in dog cages and starved them inside his Albany Street home.He was charged with beating one victim with a cane and a cord and with raping a woman.

Johnson, who was third vice-chair of the Durham County Democratic Party and vice-chair for the Young Democrats, was charged with two counts of aiding and abetting. Prosecutors said she knew her husband planned the crime and watched as they were committed.

She has resigned her positions with the Democratic Party, said state Sen. Floyd McKissick, D-Durham.

When reached for comment this afternoon, Obama said, “this is not the Satan-worshiping third vice-chair of the Durham County Democratic Party that I knew.”

Heh…for the snark, not for the crime.

June 30, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, Obama, shameful | Leave a comment

Obama adviser: Model foreign policy after the Winnie the Pooh

Oh. My. God (insert politically correct deity du jour here)Excerpt:

Richard Danzig, who served as Navy Secretary under President Clinton and is tipped to become National Security Adviser in an Obama White House, told a major foreign policy conference in Washington that the future of US strategy in the war on terrorism should follow a lesson from the pages of Winnie the Pooh, which can be shortened to: if it is causing you too much pain, try something else.

Mr Danzig told the Centre for New American Security: “Winnie the Pooh seems to me to be a fundamental text on national security.”  …

I may have just officially seen it all.


Obama’s future Cabinet?

June 19, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, defeatism, Obama | 1 Comment

Dems’ campaign strategy: Vote Dem, bed more sluts

You stay classy, lefties!  From ABC News:

A stunning 20-something woman hooks up with a seemingly innocent guy at a rowdy singles bar. Hot foreplay starts on the cab ride home and progresses into the bedroom.

That is until, while searching for a condom in the bedside table, she sees a photo signed “Thanks for your support!” from Republican candidate John McCain.

Horrified, she bolts, dropping her bag and spilling a campaign button on the sidewalk: “I only sleep with Democrats.” The camera quickly cuts to a cool, bespectacled man with a donkey pin on his lapel. The couple’s eyes lovingly lock. …

Take away the underlying message, ladies and germs: Dem girls are sluts.  “Edgy”, n’est-ce pas?

June 12, 2008 Posted by | bizarre | 7 Comments

Mom sues CT town when daughter steps in dog pile

This woman’s case is remarkably similar to what her little girl stepped in, don’t you think?  From CT:

A New York woman has filed a $100 claim against Norwalk, Conn. saying a family outing to the Maritime Aquarium was ruined by dog feces.

The woman claims her child’s shoes, along with the entire outing, were ruined when her 1-year-old stepped in dog feces outside the Maritime Garage.

City attorney M. Jeffry Spahr said the official response is that her claim is denied and, in his words, “poop happens.”

Kelly DeBrocky of Mahopac, N.Y., wants the city to reimburse her for $54 she spent replacing her toddler’s ruined shoes and the expenses for parking and aquarium admission on April 5.

Yet another compelling reason for tort reform.

Exit question: Even if I were to concede the woman deserved the $54 for the shoes (which I won’t concede, but follow me here), why should she be reimbursed for the parking and aquarium admission when she was going to the aquarium anyway?

May 13, 2008 Posted by | bizarre | 5 Comments

Non-political post of the day

A three-year-old wins a “best mullet” contest.  Such a redneck-like contest is not in Arkansas or Georgia or anywhere like that.  Nope, in Minnesota!

Those parents must be proud!  And yes, that was sarcasm.

May 1, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, non-political | 2 Comments

Flori-duh! to ban bull’s nad replicas

Just when I thought we had already solved all problems in Florida, I see I was mistaken.

When we’re not busy humiliating ourselves with hanging chads and electile dysfunction, Florida decides to be a trendsetter in the solving the premier problems of the day.  From MSNBC:

They’re proudly displayed by any self-respecting bull, but dangling big metal ones on the back end of a truck could be banned in Florida.

Metal replicas of bull testicles have become trendy bumper ornaments in some parts of the Sunshine State, but state Sen. Carey Baker is campaigning to ban the orbs.

Baker acknowledged that Florida lawmakers have more pressing issues, including huge revenue shortfalls, but said the state needs to draw a line on what’s obscene before more objectionable adornments appear.

State Sen. Steve Geller argued against Baker’s bill.

“I find it shocking that we should be telling people that have the metallic bull testicles … you’re now going to have points on your license for this,” said Geller. …

Maybe the lawmakers are jealous because they lack ‘nads themselves.  Morons.

April 27, 2008 Posted by | bizarre, Florida | 9 Comments

Congress to protect blind people from…hybrid cars?

We’re supposed to have faith in our elected officials to spend their time in DC wisely?  From FNC:

A bill intended to protect blind people and other pedestrians from the dangers posed by quiet cars will be introduced Wednesday in Congress.

The measure would require the Transportation Department to establish safety standards for hybrids and other vehicles that make little discernible noise, including an audible means for alerting people that cars are nearby.

“The beneficial trend toward more environmentally friendly vehicles has had the unintended effect of placing the blind and other pedestrians in danger,” said Democratic Rep. Edolphus Towns, who’s sponsoring the bill with Republican Rep. Cliff Stearns.  (Friggin’ wonderful…Stearns is MY Congressman! – Ed.)

The Baltimore-based National Federation of the Blind has pushed for the legislation to protect those who rely on their hearing to know when to cross the street.

While the organization is not aware of people being struck by cars they couldn’t hear, NFB President Marc Maurer has said he fears it’s only a matter of time.

No blind person has ever been hit by a hybrid, so let’s spend Congressional time dealing with a non-existent problem.  Brilliant.

Memo to Congress: They’re blind, not deaf!

April 10, 2008 Posted by | bizarre | 6 Comments