Hilarious column about “Shotgun” Joe Biden

Sweet mother of pearl, I think I’m still laughing at this column.  Excerpt:

Joe is from Delaware, a place that’s famous for absolutely nothing and arouses no feelings whatsoever. Joe likes to ride the choo-choo trains. He talks a lot, which can be good in politics. He often talks before thinking about the words coming out of his mouth, which can not be good in politics. (Scroll down for humorous video that illustrates this.)

Obama keeps the harmless guy around because, in comparison, Biden makes the president look smooth and smart. As long as no one gets to thinking, “God Almighty, that garrulous goof is one heartbeat away from becoming commander-in-chief.”

Hey, guys, what does this red button do?

Do yourself a favor and read the whole thing.  You’ll chortle throughout.  And if you’re a liberal, you’ll be ashamed at this buffoon…totally kidding, as liberals are ashamed of nothing when it comes to their party.  Hell, Biden could take a shotgun to a busload of schoolkids and the left and the MSM (pardon the redundancy) would say that those little snot-nosed b#stards had it coming to them.

 

“So God made a liberal”

Hilarious parody of Paul Harvey’s “God made a farmer” Super Bowl commercial.

Parody alert, “GM: The Deadbeat of America” ad

LOL…instead of “Like A Rock”, it’s “Now We’re Soft”!  😆

Quote of the day, “An assessment of Obama’s first debate performance” edition

Gotta love Dennis Miller!  ROFL!  😆

President Obama had better hope that a kicked ass is covered under ObamaCare — as comedian Dennis Miller wryly observed.

SNL spoofs Obama’s absurd “things are getting better” mantra

Hi-freakin’-larious!

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/barack-obama-rally-cold-open/1418895/

Humor alert, “M.C. Obama’s ‘U Didn’t Build That'” edition

Stop…Obama time! 😆

Humor alert, “you didn’t build that” edition

Heh. “It’s important to destroy their sense of individualism while they’re still young.”

“You didn’t build that”

Thanks to George for alerting me to this…LOL!

Humor of the day

Humor of the day, “liberals and economics” edition

Paul Krugman just called to say “I don’t get it!”

Quote of the day, “Obama doesn’t know where he is” edition

B.O. went to Wyffels Hybrids Inc., for a town hall meeting.  He called it “Waffles”.  Click over to see the video clip of the workers’ reaction to the flub.

Of course, it would have been easier for him to remember if only the name were somewhere that he could see it:

Boy, that Bush sure was dumb, wasn’t he?  😆

Exit question: Did he not have his telebinky with him, or was it broken?

Humor of the day, “Anti-Weiner e-card” edition

Irony, WI teachers union edition

Photoshop of the day

Courtesy of Moonbattery.

Note the singular term “viewer”! 😆

Humor alert: Spawn of John Kerry and Obama

Heh.

MSM declares war on Normal America

Ace has a wonderful post about how the MSM, seeing its influence dwindle, has now openly “declared war” on us.  Here’s a hilarious chronological exchange between the NY Times and those of us in Normal America over the last decade (but read his whole post, because it’s darned good stuff):

NYT Ten Years Ago: We don’t like you.

Us Ten Years Ago: Oh? Why?

NYT Eight Years Ago: We really don’t like you.

Us Eight Years Ago: You don’t even know us. Maybe you should try to get to know us.

NYT Six Years Ago: We really still do not like you.

Us Six Years Ago: Yeah. You said that.

NYT Four Years Ago: We really do not like you.

Us Four Years Ago: Whatever.

NYT Three Years Ago: We don’t like you.

Us Three Years Ago:  —

NYT Two Years Ago: Did you hear us, we don’t like you.

Us Two Years Ago:   —

NYT One Year Ago: Are you getting this? We don’t like you!

Us One Year Ago:   —

NYT One Month Ago: We repeat: We really do not like you! Please acknowledge if you have received this message.

Us One Month Ago:  —

NYT, This Week: MURDERS! KILLERS! SOCIOPATHS!!! AAAAUGH!!! PAY ATTENTION!! PAY ATTENTION, KILLERS!!!

Us, This Week: What is your problem, psycho?

NYT: Oh, thank God! We thought you’d gone!!!

Heh.

Bumper sticker of the year

Thanks to Kanaka Girl for sending this my way:

Humor alert: political suicide

Funny, yet sad and true.  Hat tip to Jenn:

Why I am depressed…

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”

Nearly 75 years ago,(when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your #sses and light up a Camel. This is the Promised Land.”

Today, the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your #sses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc…

I called a Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English.

I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Columnist: Vote for Republicans, because while they do suck, they suck much less than Democrats

Relax, folks.  This is friggin’ hilarious!  Read Frank Fleming’s column, which leads one to the conclusion that he gets royalties every time he uses the word “suck”!  😆  Hilarious excerpt:

AMERICANS: “So, the economy is pretty bad and there’s high employment. You think you can do something about that?”

DEMOCRATS AND OBAMA: “We can spend a trillion dollars we don’t have on pork and stuff.”

AMERICANS: “No … that’s not what we want. We’d really like you not to do that.”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re stupid. We’re doing it anyway.”

AMERICANS: “That’s not going to help us get jobs!”

DEMOCRATS: “Sure it will; millions of them … though they may be invisible. You’ll have to trust us they exist. And guess what else we’ll do: We’ll create a giant new government program to take over health care.”

AMERICANS: “That has nothing to do with jobs!”

DEMOCRATS: “We don’t care about that anymore. We really want a giant new health care program. We’re sure you’ll love it.”

AMERICANS: “Don’t pass that bill. You hear me? Absolutely do not pass that bill.”

DEMOCRATS: “Believe me; you’ll love it. It has … well, I don’t know what exactly is in the bill, but we’re sure it’s great.”

AMERICANS: “Listen to me: DO. NOT. PASS. THAT. BILL.”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re not the boss of me! We’re doing it anyway!”

AMERICANS: “Look what you did! Now the economy is way worse, we’re even deeper in debt, and we have a bunch of new laws we don’t want!”

DEMOCRATS: “You’re racist.”

AMERICANS: “Wha … How is that racist?”

DEMOCRATS: “Now you’re getting violent! Stop being violent and racist, you ignorant hillbillies! And remember to vote Democrat in November.”

Read his column, or you suck.  😆

Obama: Implementing my failed economic policies takes time, like freeing the slaves. Or something.

Ramirez: Ya gotta love him:

Billboard touts the wonderful education system in South Bend

I don’t really know that there’s much for me to add to this:

Story:

SOUTH BEND, Ind. (WANE/WSBT) – An embarrassing billboard spelling error on a sign meant to tout South Bend schools has been pulled.

The billboard is a digital one near the intersection of State Road 23 and Ironwood in South Bend. It went up on Thursday and was pulled Monday morning.

The billboard encouraged people to go to “southbendon.com” to check out the “15 best things about our PUBIC schools.” Obviously it was supposed to say “public“, but the “l” was left out.

Edyookashun iz kool!  😆

Snark aside, and in fairness to the school…

The president of a company called “the Blue Waters Group” told WSBT-TV the mistake was not made by the city or the schools.  He said the ad was proofed by 4 people and the typo got by all of them.

These four proofreaders will be glad to know that they have promising careers waiting for them at CBS News.

DNC unleashes secret weapon against GOP in a stunning “September surprise”

My worst fears have come true.  Yes, even worse than keeping the DE Senate seat blue.  I hope you’re sitting down, because this is so dispiriting to conservatives everywhere!

Two days ago, DNC chief Tim Kaine promised “something that will excite Democrats across the country”.  And boy, did they indeed!  Here it is:

Their super-duper red-tsunami-killing secret weapon is…a logo!

And not just any logo, mind you, but a powder-blue sissyfied logo with a rehashed slogan.  Hold. Me. Back.

Heck, why even show up at the polls, folks?  They’ve peed in our coffee mugs yet again, stunning us with such an unforeseen and dazzling display of brilliance from which we cannot recover.  Undoubtedly, Pansy #ss Logo will get their stoner base off the couch and their welfare brood mares out of their babydaddy’s beds and into the voting booth on Nov. 2 like nothing else will!  Crap…punked again.

I think Allah nails this one here, far better than any of my snark above:

I figured the “major announcement” would have something to do with their online organization, but how could anyone not have guessed that it would involve a logo? Better “branding” and salesmanship are always, always their solutions to their political problems; the policies themselves are brilliant, so how could anything except poor “messaging” explain a decline in the polls? Consider this an absurd yet perfectly foreseeable extension of that logic. GOP tsunami coming in November? Time to go nuclear, then: New logo.

Exactly.  “Judge us by our accomplishments?  Nah, instead, check out our new logo!”

Well, if there’s any silver lining for the left, it’s this: Considering their failed philosophy is based on stuff that will fit on a t-shirt or bumper sticker, this superwickedawesome logo will serve a purpose after all!

Union thugs at SEIU not too good at spelling

There’s an expression that says “There is no ‘I’ in ‘team’!”  Apparently, there’s no “I” in “American”, either:

The irony?  These guys were holding a Beck counter-rally with Dept. of Education employees!  😆

Yoonyuns iz dum!

Parody: “Money for Nothin’, Spread the Wealth”

Dire Straits?  How about Dem Strait:

Caption of the day, “Barney Frank and Chris Dodd” edition

Not quite the Dodd-Kennedrunk “waitress sandwich” incident, but nonetheless, funny stuff from Ace:

Dems: The party of “No”

Hypocrisy, courtesy of the Washington Examiner:

Obama Bumper Sticker Removal kit

Did you drink the socialist Kool-Aid?  Not exactly the brand of totalitarianism you bargained for?  Well, now there’s “hope”!   😆

Clinton and his Weiner in wedded bliss

Obviously I am not referring to Bubba’s partnership with Shrillary, since we all know there’s as much passionate love between those two as there is between Rosie O’Donnell and a Stairmaster.  No, here‘s what I’m talking about:

Bill Clinton is not giving away his daughter Chelsea’s hand in marriage for another three weeks. But he is going to get a little practice at the altar on Saturday, when he officiates at the wedding of Representative Anthony D. Weiner and Huma Abedin, a longtime aide to Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton.

The ceremony will be at Oheka Castle in Huntington, N.Y., in the early evening.

Matt McKenna, a Clinton spokesman, told The Associated Press that Mr. Clinton would conduct the ceremony and was authorized to do so, but did not elaborate. Aides to Mr. Weiner, who represents Queens and Brooklyn, declined to comment.

I can only imagine the awkward silence and tongue-biting when Bubba got to the “forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live” part.

Clinton…Weiner…sometimes, these stories just write themselves!  😆

Photo of the day, “Crist is looking at WHAT?” edition

Photo from the LA Times.  Read the caption under the photo:

Yeah, sure…”oil”.  Leave it to the LAT to get something else wrong.

Cartoon of President Kick#ss

Heh.  Gotta love Michael Ramirez!